(annoying) Austrian customers

Last time I discussed foreign customers, this time it's going to be all about Austrian customers, especially the most annoying ones. There are actually quite a few different types of them, but what usually distinguishes the Austrians from Germans or other foreigners is that Austrians tend to be more unfriendly and they somehow haven't learned how to greet. Not all of them, that's for sure, but the majority of unfriendly customers is certainly Austrian. Now I'm not too sure why that is the case. Are people from other countries generally more friendly than Austrians? Maybe, but then I also thought that the reason why tourists are so friendly might also be the fact that they are simply tourists. And tourists are usually more relaxed and happy to be on holiday. I'm not too sure about this theory but there might be some truth to it. I guess most Austrians also behave differently when they are on holiday.

Anyway, let me start with my first group: elderly people. We are a good old Styrian restaurant, so we have a lot of elderly people coming, especially at the weekends. Sometimes they come on their own, sometimes it's wife and husband, or, which is also very common, it's two old ladies coming together.

First thing to remember when dealing with old people: speak slowly, clearly and loudly, AND: don't ask any unnecessary questions like "would you like the fried chicken with or without skin?" - it just confuses them. Sometimes you would have to read the menu to them and explain all the meals in detail.

Elderly people are either rather unfriendly, frustrated and complaining all the time, or they are just the opposite: extremely friendly and kind, giving you lots of tips. But the thing with the tips also depends on whether you know how to deal with the elderly or not. Sometimes you would have to listen to the stories about their grandchildren or to these tales that start with "when I was young..." and then there are those who keep rambling on about the war. You have to be careful though and try not to get near them all too often, because one or the other tends to talk for hours.

In order to keep old people content you mustn't forget to bring them all the extras they want: more lemon for the fried chicken, a spoon for almost any kind of meal, more napkins, hot water to warm up their drinks, more milk or sugar for the coffee and at the end don't forget the aluminum foil so that they can rap up what is left. Old people never return plates with leftovers. They either finish it all off, even the last little crumbs (and it often takes them ages to do so), or they take it home. Sometimes you would have to do them an extra favour like sending their meal back into the kitchen to get it pureed (well... I only had that once so far...). Elderly men love to 'flirt' with the waitresses or tell jokes, but unfortunately you don't always understand them. So what you have to do is just pretend you understood and smile or laugh, whatever you feel is appropriate...It usually works ;-)

Let's move on to my absolute specialty: the we-are-better-than-you people (also called 'upper class'). The problem that I occasionally have with these people is that they mistake our restaurant with something like a gourmet restaurant. They always want special extras like linen napkins, which we don't usually have, they are extremely picky about the food and they always find something to complain about ("could you turn off that light, it's so bright" , "could you close that door/window, there's such a draft in here" etc...). It wouldn't be such a big deal if they treated you right, but some really look down on you and treat you with contempt. They consider you the stupid little waitress who completely lacks of education and knowledge of any kind. I really hate that. Some even go so far as to say "Could you please send a waiter to take our orders?" - I might look young, but I still do exactly the same job as the others, and definitely not worse.

Then we have our regular customers - another interesting kind. I really don't know what it is, but you could describe most of them as weirdoes...They keep telling you jokes that are not funny, talk about the strangest things in the strangest ways and sometimes they even look and smell kind of 'special'. Some of them come almost every night and just have a couple of beers, others come every weekend, usually to have lunch. In the beginning it was quite hard for me to deal with these people, since they would get rather grumpy if I didn't bring them the right thing or if I didn't know which drink they usually have and in what kind of glass they always have it (why the hell do they need special glasses?). If I dared to ask which drink they wanted, they would frown at me and say: "I'll have what I always have!" By now I know exactly who gets what, when and in which glass...It's really funny: some don't even have the same drink every week, but also the same meal every single week and most importantly: sit at the same table every time they come. And if that particular one is already taken...well, then you'd better find something immediately to make good for having forgotten to reserve their table (and don't let that happen too often!!) Some of our regular customers are particularly choosey and only want to be served by one particular waiter - some even believe to get a 'special' price by certain waiters, which, of course, is only in their imagination.

A very stressful type are also the I-know-the-owner-of-this-restaurant people, because they really think to be kind of privileged. They always order something that is not on the menu. So when you tell them that "I'm very sorry, but we don't have that" they go "well, last time I had the same thing, why wouldn't it be possible this time? You know, I'm a friend of the owner..." Yeah right, our boss probably doesn't even know that person's full name...But what can I do? It's always going to be me who has the troubles: I have to ask the chef whether he can make an exception and cook something which is not on the menu (he usually gives an annoyed 'yes', but not without complaining about how busy they were in the kitchen) and then I have to ask one of the head waiters what to type into computer concerning the name and price of this special meal...

What also annoys me about Austrian customers is when they...

- are allergic against every single ingredients you could imagine (why go to a restaurant?)

- reserve a table for twelve but only four of them show up

- reserve a table and then only order a salad or soup

- don't read the menu but ask you about all the meals that are in there

- say they are ready to give their orders but when you get there they examine the

whole menu over again

- go straight to the non smoking area, but then complain about not being allowed to smoke...

I have to say though, that there are not only unfriendly, complicated and annoying customers. If it was so, I wouldn't be working as a waitress anymore and I actually really like my job. I come across so many different kinds of people from all walks of life and various countries, which makes me learn a lot about people in general and how to deal with them.