Just another ordinary day at work

Today I had one of the most charming customers ever. Let me tell you about that nice old fellow: Right when he got in I knew that he was to be treated in a ‘special’ way. He didn’t greet nor did he ask if there was a table available for him. Instead, he just went straight to one of our biggest tables which we usually reserve for groups of five or six. He wasn't even sitting yet when he ordered some white wine. “Ok” I said and off I went to pass on the order to our barmaid. A second later when I walked past the man’s table he already grunted: “I ordered some wine!” – “Yes, I know” I replied (still smiling) “it’s on the way”. But he goes “So where is it?” At this stage I felt like becoming very rude, but then decided not to and calmed him down by repeating that his wine was just on the way.

I knew that this guy would cause some more trouble and I was quite right about that. And I really don’t know why, but I always tend to mess up things when I really shouldn’t. He ordered a small Wienerschnitzel. It was a rather busy day, so I forgot the ‘small’-part and simply typed Wienerschnitzel into the computer, which I started to regret as soon as I brought him his Schnitzel. “Is that a small one?” he snarled at me. Bummer! No, it’s normal size. So I just told him that “never mind, you’ll certainly pay for a small one”. As if he hadn’t understood me correctly he went on “I ordered a small one! Is that a small one? No? Well take this away and bring me a small one then!!” – “No, you’ll just have that one. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to eat the whole thing, ok? I’m very sorry, it was my mistake. But as I said, you’ll only pay for a small Wiener!” Believe me, that old man really gave me a hard time! He shut up eventually but not before asking me to bring him another plate so he could put half of the Schnitzel away. No, I’m not kidding…But hey, wouldn’t it be boring without customers like that? There are always new challenges waiting for me at work ;)

(annoying) Austrian customers

Last time I discussed foreign customers, this time it's going to be all about Austrian customers, especially the most annoying ones. There are actually quite a few different types of them, but what usually distinguishes the Austrians from Germans or other foreigners is that Austrians tend to be more unfriendly and they somehow haven't learned how to greet. Not all of them, that's for sure, but the majority of unfriendly customers is certainly Austrian. Now I'm not too sure why that is the case. Are people from other countries generally more friendly than Austrians? Maybe, but then I also thought that the reason why tourists are so friendly might also be the fact that they are simply tourists. And tourists are usually more relaxed and happy to be on holiday. I'm not too sure about this theory but there might be some truth to it. I guess most Austrians also behave differently when they are on holiday.

Anyway, let me start with my first group: elderly people. We are a good old Styrian restaurant, so we have a lot of elderly people coming, especially at the weekends. Sometimes they come on their own, sometimes it's wife and husband, or, which is also very common, it's two old ladies coming together.

First thing to remember when dealing with old people: speak slowly, clearly and loudly, AND: don't ask any unnecessary questions like "would you like the fried chicken with or without skin?" - it just confuses them. Sometimes you would have to read the menu to them and explain all the meals in detail.

Elderly people are either rather unfriendly, frustrated and complaining all the time, or they are just the opposite: extremely friendly and kind, giving you lots of tips. But the thing with the tips also depends on whether you know how to deal with the elderly or not. Sometimes you would have to listen to the stories about their grandchildren or to these tales that start with "when I was young..." and then there are those who keep rambling on about the war. You have to be careful though and try not to get near them all too often, because one or the other tends to talk for hours.

In order to keep old people content you mustn't forget to bring them all the extras they want: more lemon for the fried chicken, a spoon for almost any kind of meal, more napkins, hot water to warm up their drinks, more milk or sugar for the coffee and at the end don't forget the aluminum foil so that they can rap up what is left. Old people never return plates with leftovers. They either finish it all off, even the last little crumbs (and it often takes them ages to do so), or they take it home. Sometimes you would have to do them an extra favour like sending their meal back into the kitchen to get it pureed (well... I only had that once so far...). Elderly men love to 'flirt' with the waitresses or tell jokes, but unfortunately you don't always understand them. So what you have to do is just pretend you understood and smile or laugh, whatever you feel is appropriate...It usually works ;-)

Let's move on to my absolute specialty: the we-are-better-than-you people (also called 'upper class'). The problem that I occasionally have with these people is that they mistake our restaurant with something like a gourmet restaurant. They always want special extras like linen napkins, which we don't usually have, they are extremely picky about the food and they always find something to complain about ("could you turn off that light, it's so bright" , "could you close that door/window, there's such a draft in here" etc...). It wouldn't be such a big deal if they treated you right, but some really look down on you and treat you with contempt. They consider you the stupid little waitress who completely lacks of education and knowledge of any kind. I really hate that. Some even go so far as to say "Could you please send a waiter to take our orders?" - I might look young, but I still do exactly the same job as the others, and definitely not worse.

Then we have our regular customers - another interesting kind. I really don't know what it is, but you could describe most of them as weirdoes...They keep telling you jokes that are not funny, talk about the strangest things in the strangest ways and sometimes they even look and smell kind of 'special'. Some of them come almost every night and just have a couple of beers, others come every weekend, usually to have lunch. In the beginning it was quite hard for me to deal with these people, since they would get rather grumpy if I didn't bring them the right thing or if I didn't know which drink they usually have and in what kind of glass they always have it (why the hell do they need special glasses?). If I dared to ask which drink they wanted, they would frown at me and say: "I'll have what I always have!" By now I know exactly who gets what, when and in which glass...It's really funny: some don't even have the same drink every week, but also the same meal every single week and most importantly: sit at the same table every time they come. And if that particular one is already taken...well, then you'd better find something immediately to make good for having forgotten to reserve their table (and don't let that happen too often!!) Some of our regular customers are particularly choosey and only want to be served by one particular waiter - some even believe to get a 'special' price by certain waiters, which, of course, is only in their imagination.

A very stressful type are also the I-know-the-owner-of-this-restaurant people, because they really think to be kind of privileged. They always order something that is not on the menu. So when you tell them that "I'm very sorry, but we don't have that" they go "well, last time I had the same thing, why wouldn't it be possible this time? You know, I'm a friend of the owner..." Yeah right, our boss probably doesn't even know that person's full name...But what can I do? It's always going to be me who has the troubles: I have to ask the chef whether he can make an exception and cook something which is not on the menu (he usually gives an annoyed 'yes', but not without complaining about how busy they were in the kitchen) and then I have to ask one of the head waiters what to type into computer concerning the name and price of this special meal...

What also annoys me about Austrian customers is when they...

- are allergic against every single ingredients you could imagine (why go to a restaurant?)

- reserve a table for twelve but only four of them show up

- reserve a table and then only order a salad or soup

- don't read the menu but ask you about all the meals that are in there

- say they are ready to give their orders but when you get there they examine the

whole menu over again

- go straight to the non smoking area, but then complain about not being allowed to smoke...

I have to say though, that there are not only unfriendly, complicated and annoying customers. If it was so, I wouldn't be working as a waitress anymore and I actually really like my job. I come across so many different kinds of people from all walks of life and various countries, which makes me learn a lot about people in general and how to deal with them.

customers from all over the world

Working as a waitress in a restaurant you learn a lot about the eating habits, table manners and also the character of people from all over the world. Today I would like to give you a general idea of how people from different nationalities behave in a restaurant. To do so, I will have to make some generalizations. So please don't get me wrong, I know that there are always exceptions and that you can't say that all the people from one country are the same. Still, I have made some observations over the past year, which I would like to share with you.

Let me start with my absolute (non-) favourites: the Italians. First of all: I love Italy and generally I have nothing against Italians. But...having them as customers in a restaurant is a different matter. The problem with the Italians is that we usuallly get them in huge groups, like 50 or even up to 100 of them. A couple of Italians, that's fine with me. Dozens of them - that can be a real pain!! Every other week we get in huge groups of Italian tourists, sometimes we get school classes (and believe me, dealing with twelve year olds is even worse). Italians aren't only the loudest of all but also the most annoying. There are usually two waiters responsible for a group of 50 people, and dealing with such a big group of Italians can really stress you out!! They constantly cry for "acqua, acqua" and "pane, pane", even when you are busy passing out dozens of hot dishes. They can't wait, if they want something they want it right on the spot. Once - I was busy carrying heavy stacks of dirty dishes - an old lady grabbed my arm tightly and yelled: "il bagno, il bagno??". One second later and two steps further toward the door another lady held on to me with exactly the same question...Yeah, I love them!! But don't think that the work is over once you got rid of them!! The Italians are the ones who leave the worst mess behind! I don't even think they have ever heard of the term 'table manners' before. When you come back to clean up, you could as well believe you are entering a battle field: bread, fries, napkins, tooth picks and cutlery cover the floor; table cloths are coloured with tomato sauce, wine stains and with whatever they had for dessert...it usually takes you twice as long to clean up the mess.

If they don't arrive in large hordes but in small numbers, as 'normal' customers, they can be quite acceptable. They tend to eat lots... I would have enough with what they have only for a starter. Usually it's Sauerkraut and sausages, Gulasch or Verhackertbrot. As a main dish they quite often go for the mixed grill and they pretty much always have bread with everything. Oh, and don't forget the espresso!

The Japanese are just about the opposite of the Italians. They are veeeeeery quiet, polite and friendly, and they keep smiling all the time. What a lovely people!!! And so easy to handle. They usually eat Gulasch or Bauernschmaus but don't eat more than half of the portion, cause they just can't fit it in. And they love black currant juice. There's only one strange thing about the Japanese. Whenever we have a group of about 20, the whole room fills with a 'special' smell. I really don't know what it is, and maybe I don't even want to know, but they do smell rather strange...

There's not really much I can tell you about the French. But one thing is true: communicating with French people is almost impossible. Most of them refuse to use any other language than their own and they just don't get that I don't understand them in their mother tongue. There's no point in telling them "I don't speak French". They just keep talking and talking...That's why I try to avoid taking their orders, cause I usually end up serving them things they didn't order :-)

I can't think of any other nation that is as friendly as the English. Almost every single sentence contains a "thank you", "oh, that's wonderful" or "how lovely". And they definitely know how to say hello and good bye (which is something the Austrians dread to do).

Then we have the Russians. Hmm...actually, sometimes they scare me a little. I don't really know why though, probably because they seem to be very serious people who don't laugh a lot And: usually they appear in groups of only men...But Russians are very generous customers, leaving lots of money. They spend quite a lot on alcohol, especially vodka and expensive wine. The other day we had some Russians who ordered two bottles of our finest wines, but only drank about a quarter of each. Me and my two workmates had a pretty good time after closing hour... good wine can't be wasted ;-)

Last but not least: the Germans. They still manage to crack me up by ordering "ne Apfelschorle" or even better "ne Weinschorle". And quite often you have to translate Erdäpfel, Topfenknödel and Eierschwammerl into 'proper German'. One more thing you have to know about Germans as a waitress: when they order water, they usually want sparkling water. So don't get them just tap water.

Generally, Germans are pretty friendly, unlike most of the Austrians. But that's a different story... Next time I'll write about the different types of Austrian customers. Some of them make me hit the roof...